As Americans, sometimes it’s safe to say we take our freedoms and way of life for granted. If you’re reading this in the U.S. of A, be thankful you’re not reading this in killjoy France.
The Paris Olympics will not be a place for you to enjoy the only combination of things Americans love more than political strife and Marvel movies— I’m talking about beer and sports.
According to a recent article from BroBible, “The vast majority of spectators at the Olympics in Paris will not be able to catch a buzz while watching any of the events.”
Can you believe we liberated this ungrateful nation from the Nazis just so they could go and do something like this?
“A 32-year-old law makes it illegal to serve alcohol at most sporting events in France,” the article added. Meaning that this isn’t just some recent sleight towards tourists attending the game. It means that this rule is old enough itself to have a drink.
But that won’t be happening in France!
RELATED: How to Watch the 2024 Summer Olympics
We shouldn’t call Europe “the Old World”, we should call it the boring one.
Get ready to empty your wallets, because Olympic venues are offering a gourmet selection of non-alcoholic beverages and food at utterly jaw-dropping prices, too.
You can quench your thirst with a 16-ounce Coca-Cola, Fanta, or Sprite for the bargain price of $5.43, or indulge in a 16-ounce non-alcoholic beer for just $8.69. Fancy a bite? How about a $10.32 hot dog or an $11.94 cheeseburger? Even French fries will set you back $3.80. In France!
RELATED: IOC Threatens To Pull 2034 Winter Olympics From United States Due To Doping Feud With China
Don’t forget dessert—a chocolate chip cookie for a mere $3.80. Clearly, affordability is the name of the game at the Olympics! Oh, and by law, if you want to enjoy REAL alcohol, it must come with a complete meal. How convenient!
The American answer to these crimes against decency is to stay home, take your pants off, grab a REAL drink, and watch the Olympics from your giant TV in your air conditioned living room. This is how George Washington would have wanted it.
NEXT: Palestinian Olympic Team Receives Warm Welcome In Paris For Summer Olympics
More about:Athletics
Read This Next
